"So Brad…you remember Brad, right? Yeah, the one in marketing. Right. Last week, he's going on and on and on about Vegas, what a killing he had made in Vegas.

"What? Yeah, poker. You know he's always playing video poker at his desk when his officemate's not in. Talks shit about playing in the poker world series one day. So finally, last week I had had enough.

"You bet your ass I invited him to our game. The one week you had to be out of town, I know, man, but let me finish.

"So I didn't lie to the guy; I told him straight up–it's high high stakes poker. Pussies don't even think about applying. And sure enough, he gets that hungry look in his eyes.

"So he shows up and takes full advantage of the open bar. Dude has no tolerance whatsoever. One hour in, we've got most of his chips. And then–that's when he thinks he's gotten *the* hand, man. He goes all in, but then Rudy–yeah, you knew it had to be Rudy, right?–he raises him.

"Brad was so drunk he thought we were kidding when we explained it to him, you know, what it would take to call. He was laughing when he agreed…but we all heard him agree.

"So sure enough, he lays down a full house of kings over jacks. Then Rudy–ah, man, you know Rudy is 'Mr. Cool'–he lays down his full house: aces over queens.

"Brad was laughing still, if you can believe it. He was still laughing when they put his hand down on the white tile. He was talking to me, saying some shit like 'Great, joke, man, really good one.'

"I think he still thought we were joking, even after we took off the tip of his index finger, down to the first joint. He passed out after the third one…yeah, like I said, what a pussy.

"Then? Well Rudy took the chips and the pieces and we kept playing.

"Great game, man. Wish you had been there."

(audio)